girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
do herpes really smell.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Randomize
