No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
