Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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