we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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