That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
