dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i need some magic done to my vagina
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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