can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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