i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Randomize
