Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
