just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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