Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
