just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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