So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
