How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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