Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My penis needs a shock collar
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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