Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
