So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
