If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
