Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
