I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
