I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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