He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
