We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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