you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
