there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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