I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
