her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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