Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize