we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
