Ambien. No doubt about it.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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