She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize