It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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