I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm too high and old for this...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize