We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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