dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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