I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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