he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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