If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the day after is always just damage control
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
