I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
