I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
