either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
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and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
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Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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