You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize