Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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