How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
