i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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