Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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