How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
