I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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