for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize