You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
