Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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