How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Less talking, more tequila
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
