we made out on top of his cat.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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