Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
either way he was missing a nipple.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
