I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
