he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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