Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
one might say we're banned from that church
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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