I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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