I can't watch pbs sober anymore
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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