Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
