Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
