i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
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he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
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The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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