So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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